🌱 My Ongoing Journey with FND: Still Searching for Answers

🚪 The Beginning: A Fall in 2014

In 2014, I fell backward in my garage while carrying an item. This incident marked the beginning of a pattern of falls.

Over the subsequent years, I experienced:

  • Missteps or stepping on unseen objects.
  • Tremors followed by falls.
  • These incidents increased in frequency.

From the outset, I recognized these events as abnormal.

🦠 The Pandemic Years: Isolation & Adaptation

The COVID-19 pandemic altered my routine.

  • I spent more time at home.
  • This reduced my exposure to public spaces, thereby decreasing the risk of public falls.
  • However, it also limited my physical activity and exposure therapy for fall-related anxieties.

âš¡ The Seizure That Changed Everything

2021 marked a significant event.

My foot made contact with a table, resulting in a tremor, a fall, and a subsequent loss of consciousness. I regained awareness asking for assistance; my wife instructed me to remain still while waiting for emergency services.

This was my first grand mal seizure.

This event initiated a series of medical consultations:

  • Primary care physicians
  • Neurologists
  • Multiple diagnostic tests

These appointments generated numerous questions but few definitive answers.

🧠 Testing, Fear, and Uncertainty

In 2024, a 24-hour ambulatory EEG was ordered to capture a fall event.

The awareness of being monitored for a fall increased my anxiety regarding falls.

Approximately one month after the EEG, my symptoms intensified:

  • Unassisted ambulation became difficult.
  • A planned vacation did not alleviate, but rather exacerbated, symptoms.

I subsequently took three months of medical leave from work. During this period:

  • I initiated physical therapy (PT).
  • I began sessions with a psychologist.

Both interventions have provided benefit; however, the diagnostic and treatment process has not been linear.

🩺 A Diagnosis—But Is It the Final One?

After years of diagnostic uncertainty, a movement disorder specialist confirmed a diagnosis of:

Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)

I continue to work with my physical therapist and experience balance difficulties, particularly in unfamiliar environments.

While a significant component of my gait disturbance is attributed to a fear of falling, I also suspect that stimulus-sensitive myoclonic seizures may have been the initial trigger.

  • Medication provides assistance.
  • Physical therapy is essential.
  • The condition involves a significant psychological component.

Symptom severity varies daily, and I am adapting to the uncertainty inherent in my condition.

🌄 Moving Forward

Living with FND involves ongoing questions.

I acknowledge the support from:

  • My medical team
  • My Physical Therapist
  • My family

I remain uncertain if FND is the definitive diagnosis, but I am learning to manage my symptoms and regain functional capacity.